It’s that time of year again where the gyms are packed out with people in their brand new trainers and leggings, fumbling their way around the equipment, and slimming clubs have queues out the door!
What is it about a new year that inspires us to make such commitments and then let them fall by the wayside come mid February – if we even manage make it that far? Surely we don’t have to wait for 1st January if we want to make changes in our lives, and we undoubtedly need to invest more than 6 weeks of effort.
The more I learn about what makes us tick, the more fascinated I become about what motivates us, especially how we are able to form some habits easily whilst others are a real struggle. I really struggle with the ‘apple a day’, or ‘five a day’ if you believe the Government mantra – but recently I've had no problem at all consuming a mince pie every day, and indeed some days the magical number of five was easily achieved! So, how do we make the changes that we want to make AND make those changes stick?
I’ve heard it said many times that for anything to become a habit we need to repeat it at least seven times. Other research suggests a daily action only becomes a habit after as long as 64 days! Further reading tells me that a relatively easy daily habit (e.g. drinking a glass of water after breakfast) can take as few as 21 days to form, but anything more complex will take longer, and some research estimates that a massive 254 days would be needed to really develop a habit. Is it any wonder the gyms are empty again by mid February!
In his book ‘Making Habits, Breaking Habits’, Jeremy Dean suggests that using the ‘WOOP’ exercise can help us to achieve our goals. It seems the amount of planning and intentional action we carry out can make all the difference, by considering our Wish, knowing our desired Outcome, identifying any Obstacles and then creating our Plan to implement. Knowing the potential obstacles has to be a good thing, so we are clear about any pitfalls or risks of our good intentions being ambushed – as long as we don’t then use those obstacles to stop us taking action! “No point me bothering to (eat healthily) because I can’t avoid (my birthday, Easter, that wedding) so not worth it...”
It’s here that we really have to be honest with ourselves about the amount of desire we have to make the change and establish the habit. How much do we really want it? What we do know is that for a new habit to form it takes commitment, persistence and desire – I’ve been losing my ‘baby weight’ for 19 years now!
Some people will be motivated by the achievement of the outcome (e.g., they want to lose weight for their holiday in June so that they can wear a bikini), or motivated by moving away from a ‘bad’ habit (e.g., stopping smoking to reduce the risk of dying of lung cancer). We are all different, with different priorities, needs and desires, and if we also take into account our experiences or beliefs – “I’ve tried going to the gym before but it didn’t work” – these add to the potential obstacles that can hold us back.
There’s more to forming or breaking habits than meets the eye, and scientists have suggested that we do certain things regularly without even realising we are doing them. My son doesn’t realise when he is biting his nails, for example. It is such a habitual response to a stressful situation that it doesn’t even register on his radar; so acknowledging the automatic habits we already have must form part of this personal development too.
All the research carried out seems to suggest that we need to be very clear about what we actually want and why – the purpose and benefit of the change, and any risk of failing to make it. We then need to have a really honest conversation with ourselves about our actual desire or willingness to do what is required, before breaking the goal down into really small steps – steps that can easily be incorporated into every day (or week or whatever frequency is required). We start with one tiny step and gradually add to it, but with a real conscious awareness! By adding small steps on top of small steps, the behaviour is easier to integrate and it’s easier to practise the habit. So I’ll forget my commitment to run 20 miles a day, eat nothing but lettuce and suck on a stone if I get hungry, and just concentrate on weaning myself off those mince pies – one step at a time; you can’t hurry habits!
On a more serious note, this gives us some real food for thought when it comes to our work helping organisations achieve desired performance and our leaders develop new behaviours. As we enter into new 1:1 coaching relationships this year, we will certainly be encouraging our clients to WOOP it up – starting with those tiny little baby steps and not being too ambitious too soon. This will mean being clear about what clients want to achieve and why, and holding up the mirror for them to see any existing habitual behaviour that they might not have even realised was holding them back. But easy does it now, let’s not throw out the Lycra with the Easter Eggs folks.