Just don't be mean when you say it!
Crucial Conversations is one of our most popular programmes and frequently has rave reviews from delegates who attend. Why? Well apart from the fact it’s a superb programme and well delivered, tongue in cheek, it’s because it is a skill that everyone would do well to have in their tool kit. Whatever industry sector you work in, whatever role you play, whatever level you are at, the ability to say what you mean and be true to yourself, whilst maintaining effective relationships with those around you, is critical to not only your workplace success but also your general health and wellbeing.
If you are going home at night, stressed, frustrated, upset by something that has happened today and you choose to either bottle up those emotions or indeed deliver them in the lap of your nearest and dearest, it is fair to say you are doing yourself no favours. Research suggests that whilst negative emotions that are suppressed start to cause problems, both physically and mentally, the alternative of going home in a bad mood and affecting the people around you, is also not good, in the long term!
We work with a very basic principle of whilst you can’t always have what you want, things may not always go your way, you do have the right to express what your thoughts, feelings or wants are – and as long as you do that in a way that respects the other person’s right, and accepts that they may have a different view of the world, generally that is the preferred way forward!
First of all you need to prepare for that conversation though – just blurting out whatever is in your head isn’t perhaps going to be the best way! Think about what you would like to achieve as a result of having the conversation – and also consider how much it really matters! Do you just need to 'get over it' and move on or is it something that you really do need to tackle?
We offer two versions of this programme – one for line managers who might need to tackle performance or behavioural issues with their team members and the other for anyone who might need to have a difficult conversation with a work colleague, supplier, customer, boss! Both versions can be adapted to suit the organisation or general situation. Each programme covers some fundamental rules though .....
- Have clarity about what you want to achieve as a result of the conversation.
- Think carefully about what to say and how to say it!
- Respect that the other person may have a different view of the world.
- Structure the conversation to avoid any rambling, blame or subjectivity.
- Agree a way forward.
Sometimes it really is just about taking a deep breath and putting your big girl pants on – often things are not as bad as we have imagined them to be and with a bit of forethought, courage and confidence, you will find a way forward.